she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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