my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
