Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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