But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
