he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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