She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
This baby is an asshole
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
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