new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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