Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
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