I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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