wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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