Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
