Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
