im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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