He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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