Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
