my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Shitshow foam night was such a success
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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