Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
