i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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