I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's shark week go big or go home
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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