Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
