Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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