If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
