oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
sarcasm needs its own font
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
