O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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