Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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