i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think i peed on brittanys purse
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
