break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
