Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
