ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
