like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize