Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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