Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
