just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
