it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
