sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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