Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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