Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
