i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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