Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
