I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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