when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
