maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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