Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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