I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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