I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
try to milk me bitch
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