Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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