Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
