My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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