I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Houston, we have a blender
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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