great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
