We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
