She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
