Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Randomize
