My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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