I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
