Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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