How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Only a mothe r could love this liver
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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