You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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