I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize