i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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