Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
